A Woman’s 40-Day Plan to Reinvent a Marriage!

Mary Hapeman

Mary Hapeman


Our Pastor gave us some marriage altering advice one Sunday when he told us that the most important thing our husbands need above all else is RESPECT. That was the missing puzzle piece in my understanding of how to nurture a loving and harmonious relationship with my husband.

Women are by nature very emotional creatures; rarely being moved simply by logic, but rather by the emotional energy in any given situation. As mothers we seek to comfort our children, and we seem to have a God-given ability to talk almost non-stop on any given topic, in any situation, day or night. We experience talking as a natural expression of love, and we expect that our husbands will enjoy chatting with us, but they often don’t. In fact, many men are turned off by their wife’s efforts to engage them in conversation.

Men want RESPECT; they don’t want conversation as much as we do. They don’t want us completing their sentences for them (as our girl friends might appreciate). Men have a lot on their minds that they don’t vocalize with their wives.

So let your husband be the leader and the head of the household. God created him for this leadership position. Where you think he is falling short, ask God to guide and embrace your husband, to whisper God’s will into his heart, mind and soul; and then keep your mouth shut. Work with God to lift your husband up spiritually and emotionally; LISTEN to your husband. If he wants the salt and pepper shakers in a particular spot on the table, then just quietly and lovingly pay attention and just do it with love. Don’t argue the point.

Try this for 40 days and see for yourself as an incredible shift takes place in your marriage. When you become totally receptive to your husband’s wishes, you are creating a channel for God’s love to flow through your husband to you. Know with assurance that as you honor God through honoring, respecting and obeying your husband that will indeed create the channel for God’s endless and incredible love to come rushing into you through your husband, and you will indeed experience the blessing of marriage and the blessing of an absolute love.  

Father, thank you for your blessing.

Thank you for my husband.
How could I possibly know You
And experience your breathless love
Without this man’s presence in my life?

At first I saw only imperfections,
Thinking this must be a mistake,
Causing me to hunt You down with questions,
Wanting answers that caused me to weep,
And urged me to draw closer to You.

In the process I grew
To know You in deeper ways,
To feel Your pain and hope
And saw the goodness You saw in him
I saw with new eyes, with Your eyes.

The long road this man had travelled
To meet me, simply to meet me.
Again and again he suffered pain and insults
Broken and beaten, yet believing...
Still in You and now in me.

With the King’s blessing
Our lives began anew;
And slowly we opened up
And learned to trust anew
One another and most especially You.